Beginnings...

Grief Recovery

I have had the most amazing experience over the past few months and it has come because of my training and certification with the Grief Recovery Institute.  If you are a reader of my blog, you know that my wife and I lost our 29 year old son over three and a half years ago.  Since then, I have been trying to learn more about grief and how to help others.  Really, I just wanted to feel better and help others to feel better.

After a lot of research and questions, I signed up and attended training to be able to deliver the Grief Recovery Method training and recovery groups.  What an amazing course!  What a great instructor (Laura Jack - see www.laurajack.com).  And best of all, I really feel so much better.  It is impossible to explain, but I will try.  Since Lance Jr. died, I have had a tightness in my chest, a heaviness of heart, a drain of my being.  After the class, frankly, I wondered where it went and I searched for that familiar feeling, but it was gone.  I also had an ability to look at other instances around my son's death with new light and forgiveness.

I've made it known to a few of my friends and my local church that I have this training.  This past weekend we held a balloon event I planned several months ago which helped to launch the training class at my church.  As word spreads, I have more and more people coming to me with questions and interest in being in a grief recovery group.

I bought a domain and made a website (www.lancedecker.com) and have ordered some business cards.  I'm trying to figure out how much time I can spend on this and keep my regular job.  I've started teaching a dear friend of mine the material and, I plan to start a recovery group in April at the Spring Creek church of Christ in Tomball. (www.springcreekchurchofchrist.org).

I find grievers are very interested in getting better, they just don't know how.  Conventional wisdom is to not do anything about grief and to live with the pain.  Some develop bad habits or illnesses.  Some turn to substances for relief.  Like a broken leg requires a familiar, sometimes painful, series of steps, so does grief recovery.

I feel like Paul in 1 Corinthians 9:16 - "For if I preach the gospel, that gives me no ground for boasting. For necessity is laid upon me. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!"  In my case, I want people to know that there is relief from the pain of grief, that recovery is possible, and that you can be yourself again.  None of this means that we forget our loved one or that, at times, we are sad about what happened.  It does mean the incomplete business of our losses can be completed and the pain associated with them can stop.

I am excited what the next few months and years hold for me and this work.  I am finally free of the pain and look forward to helping others do the same.

Lance Decker
Certified Grief Recovery Specialist