Maybe I watch too much TV, or maybe I just never noticed before my training with the Grief Recovery Institute, but it seems like I see grief being played out constantly on the "small screen." One of my favorite shows is "The Big Bang Theory." I am a total nerd when it comes to technology so I love to see the disfunction of those nerdier than I am. I was watching Episode 19 on the DVR this morning and I noticed some things I would like to discuss in the blog today.
First... ***Spoiler Alert*** if you haven't watched Episode 19 of this season, bookmark this page, watch it and then come back ***End Spoiler Alert***
In this episode, one of the story lines is that Sheldon's computer dies and Amy is there to support him. Most people would simply say, "its just a computer, what's the big deal?" For Sheldon, however, even a broken computer with a failing video card, audio card and three bad keys on the keyboard are still not enough for him to replace it. Sheldon, like us, get attached to things, physical things without any real existence of their own except a shaped or formed piece of plastic, metal, ceramic, etc. Some things have sentimental value to us because of how we got it or how it was involved with other people. Sheldon is no different. He had attached himself emotionally to a laptop.
At some point in the show, the laptop breathes its last breath, the screen goes dark, and Sheldon is obviously moved with grief. He ceremoniously plays "Taps" on his smart phone and covers the computer with a black cloth. He's sad, well, as sad as the character can be, it is Sheldon afterall. When moved with grief, we are predominately sad and struggle to make sense of it in our minds. Our minds and our hearts are suddenly in "disconnect mode" and confusion and disorientation begin. Ceremonies are a way of dealing with loss to some degree and Sheldon immediately exhibits these grief symptoms.
I thought the writers did a good job not trying to recreate the "stages of grief" in the show. As we know, the stages of grief were not discovered for those that remain after a loss, but for those that learn that they have terminal illnesses. The writers also did a good job having Amy be supportive for the most part from an emotional standpoint.
One interesting thing that Amy did is to go out and buy a replacement computer. Amy was replacing the loss for Sheldon. A dear friend of mine tells a story of losing his dog only for a well meaning relative to buy a new dog and "surprise" him. The new dog was not the same as his old one. The relationship could never be the same. One is always comparing the old with the new, trying to have the new behave like the old. We need to complete the relationship with the former before we can love the new one completely and without the encumbrance of the previous incomplete relationship. We call this "baggage" and we tend to carry our baggage from one relationship to another. This is also true of Sheldon in the show. Amy did a good job technically buying a very nice replacement, but Sheldon objected wildly initially.
Amy starts to discuss the disposition of the old computer and Sheldon makes a startling admission by taking Amy to a storage locker where everything he had ever owned was stored. Every book, every computer, every T-shirt, etc. Sheldon had an attachment to everything and could not say "goodbye" to anything. Sheldon knew that this was odd, but he was so attached, so incomplete with previous relationships with things, he couldn't bear to throw them away. He tries to make a step towards recovery, to completion, with a golf ball thrown at him by his brother by throwing it away outside the locker. Amy is pleased with his progress in throwing away just one thing, however as Sheldon closes the locker, you see the golf ball rolling in the gathering darkness of the storage locker. Sheldon had thrown away an empty box. He had made a false step toward completeness.
Sheldon is a lot like me in a way here. When my son died, we packaged up his things and periodically pull out a box and try to throw things away. It is hard sometimes to unhook ourselves from the pain and the stuff associated with it. I'm thankful to the Grief Recovery Method for helping resolve that connection and for providing tools for dealing with things like this. I'm thankful that there is a book like "The Grief Recovery Handbook" to walk me through a series of small correct choices for completing my grief.
While just a TV show, the grief experienced even by small things is real and we need a path for completing those losses. I appreciate the writers and actors on this show for not shying away from exposing real issues, even though shown through eccentric characters. I spoke with Russell Friedman at the Grief Recovery Institute recently and he told me that I would "find grievers under every rock." I guess that is true. We all experience grief to some degree and and in varying intensities throughout our lives. Thanks to the writers of "The Big Bang Theory" for a compelling and wonderfully eccentric exhibition of grief.
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Dancing with the Grieving Stars?
Last night, my wife and I watched "Dancing with the Stars" and I was struck by the number of times grief came up in the show. The theme of the night was "Your most memorable year," so many remembered highlights of great years. Some however remembered loss. Doug Flute, a former NFL quarterback remembered the loss of his parents. His situation was quite different in that his father died and while kissing him goodbye, his mother passed away. This all happened within an hour. See more here: http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/eye-on-football/25380287/ex-nfl-qb-doug-flutie-loses-both-parents-on-same-day-an-hour-apart.
Doug made a very valuable statement during the show. He said something to the effect that he had the chance to tell his father how much he meant to him shortly before he died, but he didn't have that chance with his mother. This all happened in November of last year and you could visibly see his demeanor change during the discussion of his mother. Obviously Doug had unfinished business with his mother. He wished he could deliver some communication of love and appreciation to her, but he did not have the chance.
Jodie Sweetin, a beloved child star from Full House and now Fuller House, talked about her loss and grief when the original Full House show ended. She said she did not "know how to grieve" about this loss. She was five year old when it started and an early teen when it ended. She did not know anything but working with this family and suddenly it was all lost. Jodie turned to various short term energy relieving behaviors like drugs and alcohol. She spent many years in that place until she looked for and found help five years ago.
Paige VanZandt stated that she was bullied in school and had trouble fitting in. She didn't say it exactly, but she was hurting from the abuse of other children. In not knowing how to deal with it, she turned to fighting. She is now a championship contending UFC fighter. She funnelled all of the anger she kept inside into fighting in the ring, unleashing the inner hurt on her opponents.
What is most interesting to me is that all three of these public figures struggle with grief just the way we do. They seek comfort from the grief in sometimes healthy and sometimes unhealthy ways. They are victims of no knowledge of how to grieve in a healthy way or how to complete the relationships. They do not know how to deal with lost hopes, dreams and expectations associated to their losses. They have messages they want to be delivered that were not. They explore how they could have done things differently, better, or more.
I wanted to reach out to these three stars and introduce the Grief Recovery Method to them from the Grief Recovery Institute. Both Jodie and Paige's parents could have learned much from "How Children Grieve" and all three could benefit now from the "Grief Recovery Method."
I am so happy to be able to help people through this program as a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. Paige, Jodie, and Doug, please give me a call so we can set up an appointment.
Doug made a very valuable statement during the show. He said something to the effect that he had the chance to tell his father how much he meant to him shortly before he died, but he didn't have that chance with his mother. This all happened in November of last year and you could visibly see his demeanor change during the discussion of his mother. Obviously Doug had unfinished business with his mother. He wished he could deliver some communication of love and appreciation to her, but he did not have the chance.
Jodie Sweetin, a beloved child star from Full House and now Fuller House, talked about her loss and grief when the original Full House show ended. She said she did not "know how to grieve" about this loss. She was five year old when it started and an early teen when it ended. She did not know anything but working with this family and suddenly it was all lost. Jodie turned to various short term energy relieving behaviors like drugs and alcohol. She spent many years in that place until she looked for and found help five years ago.
Paige VanZandt stated that she was bullied in school and had trouble fitting in. She didn't say it exactly, but she was hurting from the abuse of other children. In not knowing how to deal with it, she turned to fighting. She is now a championship contending UFC fighter. She funnelled all of the anger she kept inside into fighting in the ring, unleashing the inner hurt on her opponents.
What is most interesting to me is that all three of these public figures struggle with grief just the way we do. They seek comfort from the grief in sometimes healthy and sometimes unhealthy ways. They are victims of no knowledge of how to grieve in a healthy way or how to complete the relationships. They do not know how to deal with lost hopes, dreams and expectations associated to their losses. They have messages they want to be delivered that were not. They explore how they could have done things differently, better, or more.
I wanted to reach out to these three stars and introduce the Grief Recovery Method to them from the Grief Recovery Institute. Both Jodie and Paige's parents could have learned much from "How Children Grieve" and all three could benefit now from the "Grief Recovery Method."
I am so happy to be able to help people through this program as a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. Paige, Jodie, and Doug, please give me a call so we can set up an appointment.
Wednesday, March 30, 2016
What DO You Say to a Griever?
There are a lot of myths about grief and a lot of misunderstanding about what grievers need during the early periods of grief. Naturally, those who don't have a recent loss are confused about what to say to someone in the depths of grief. So, what do you say? What do grievers really need? What comfort can friends and family provide that communicates love and care for the griever?
The Grief Recovery Institute has done a great job of explaining what things unintentionally hurt grievers. Appeals to intellect are not what the person needs. In grief, the person is swimming in emotions, many times deeply conflicting. Occasionally they have to "surface" and operate in the intellectual world for short periods of time to deal with funeral details or financial things, but this is a deeply emotional time for the griever.
In the TV cop shows we hear them say "I'm sorry for your loss." Having lost my son almost four years ago, I learned to hate this statement. It communicated a lack of concern to me, a lack of forethought for what I needed. I didn't judge the person that said it. Frankly, it was said by so many people, I cannot tell you exactly who said it. I was in a fog. This statement hurt.
Things like, "they're in a better place" or "they are watching from heaven" all seemed quite bizarre to me. How did they know? These statements while intellectually interesting were also not helpful.
I'm watching the OJ Simpson miniseries on my DVR. I'm a little behind. Last night there was a scene where Marcia Clark is talking to Ron Goldman's father and she said, "I know how you feel." As the words poured from her mouth, I was already objecting. Mr. Goldman handled it the way most grievers would with pure anger and doubt. It was quite a good example of what not to say to a griever.
So, what do you say? Well, my first thought is, if you know the person that you are talking to is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Reach out your arms, hold them, cry with them. It is emotional, so be emotional (that includes men also). Nothing made me feel better than the love exhibited through those lovely hugs, caring tear filled eyes, knowing looks, and no words.
Since being certified with GRI, I also learned that words that appeal to the emotions are best. One such statement is "I have no idea what you are feeling." This statement is almost always followed by a description of the griever about how they are feeling. It is also very true. Every relationship is uniquely unique. My relationship with my mother is different than that of my brother, therefore our reactions to that loss will be different. So when you say this, you are telling the truth, explaining your feelings, and giving an opening to the person to talk, cry, hug, etc. etc. etc.
"I don't know what to say," can also be a nice start to a conversation. I would always hug the person, because frankly, it is another truth. It is not a contrived response.
In our family, when we wanted to sum up the volume of emotions in the whole situation, we said, "This sucks!" which was code for "I feel so bad I can't even express it, and I need some hugs right now!" For us, this worked, albeit a little crude.
One final idea is instead of saying something, do something. Grievers are not good at eating, sleeping, cooking, shopping, functioning, etc. You might simply ask if you can mow the lawn for them on Tuesday (be specific on the day) or come to the house and clean the bathrooms the day after the funeral (usually the family is heading out and the griever is left with laundry and a bit of a mess). Tell them that you plan to go to the grocery store today or tomorrow and can pick up what they need or invite them to go with you. By all of this, I do not mean that you should plant a tree or do something symbolic. Do something of service for the person.
All in all, grief is emotional, so communications need to appeal to emotion. Not your emotions necessarily, but theirs. They need to be heard without judgment or criticism. There are no quick fixes for grief, so don't try to fix them. Be emotional, be genuine, be loving. Hugs speak volumes.
The Grief Recovery Institute has done a great job of explaining what things unintentionally hurt grievers. Appeals to intellect are not what the person needs. In grief, the person is swimming in emotions, many times deeply conflicting. Occasionally they have to "surface" and operate in the intellectual world for short periods of time to deal with funeral details or financial things, but this is a deeply emotional time for the griever.
In the TV cop shows we hear them say "I'm sorry for your loss." Having lost my son almost four years ago, I learned to hate this statement. It communicated a lack of concern to me, a lack of forethought for what I needed. I didn't judge the person that said it. Frankly, it was said by so many people, I cannot tell you exactly who said it. I was in a fog. This statement hurt.
Things like, "they're in a better place" or "they are watching from heaven" all seemed quite bizarre to me. How did they know? These statements while intellectually interesting were also not helpful.
I'm watching the OJ Simpson miniseries on my DVR. I'm a little behind. Last night there was a scene where Marcia Clark is talking to Ron Goldman's father and she said, "I know how you feel." As the words poured from her mouth, I was already objecting. Mr. Goldman handled it the way most grievers would with pure anger and doubt. It was quite a good example of what not to say to a griever.
So, what do you say? Well, my first thought is, if you know the person that you are talking to is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Reach out your arms, hold them, cry with them. It is emotional, so be emotional (that includes men also). Nothing made me feel better than the love exhibited through those lovely hugs, caring tear filled eyes, knowing looks, and no words.
Since being certified with GRI, I also learned that words that appeal to the emotions are best. One such statement is "I have no idea what you are feeling." This statement is almost always followed by a description of the griever about how they are feeling. It is also very true. Every relationship is uniquely unique. My relationship with my mother is different than that of my brother, therefore our reactions to that loss will be different. So when you say this, you are telling the truth, explaining your feelings, and giving an opening to the person to talk, cry, hug, etc. etc. etc.
"I don't know what to say," can also be a nice start to a conversation. I would always hug the person, because frankly, it is another truth. It is not a contrived response.
In our family, when we wanted to sum up the volume of emotions in the whole situation, we said, "This sucks!" which was code for "I feel so bad I can't even express it, and I need some hugs right now!" For us, this worked, albeit a little crude.
One final idea is instead of saying something, do something. Grievers are not good at eating, sleeping, cooking, shopping, functioning, etc. You might simply ask if you can mow the lawn for them on Tuesday (be specific on the day) or come to the house and clean the bathrooms the day after the funeral (usually the family is heading out and the griever is left with laundry and a bit of a mess). Tell them that you plan to go to the grocery store today or tomorrow and can pick up what they need or invite them to go with you. By all of this, I do not mean that you should plant a tree or do something symbolic. Do something of service for the person.
All in all, grief is emotional, so communications need to appeal to emotion. Not your emotions necessarily, but theirs. They need to be heard without judgment or criticism. There are no quick fixes for grief, so don't try to fix them. Be emotional, be genuine, be loving. Hugs speak volumes.
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Fear of Feeling Better
In grief, especially long term grief, I think that perhaps people may feel fear and apprehension of feeling better. That tension in your chest, that empty feeling in your heart, or that loss of power seems to become a place of comfort rather than a move to action.
In my limited time of working with grieving people, I tend to find those that desperately want to get better and those that don't. It makes me wonder why.
In my own grief struggle, I was searching for answers. I wanted to know why I felt so bad for so long. I was aggressively seeking a solution. When I found the Grief Recovery Institute, the program spoke to me. The book spoke to me. I felt deep within me that I had finally found an answer to lifting my soul up from the hurt. When I went through the course, I poured myself thoroughly into it with every ounce of energy. When completed with the loss of my son, I felt oddly different. It took a few hours to sink in. I noticed that I viewed other situations and difficulties that were adjacent to my loss much differently. I noticed a missing feeling in my chest. I searched for it, but I couldn't find it. It was a familiar feeling of pain, not terrible pain, just a consistent reminder of the loss I had experienced. Now, that was missing and I felt quite odd for a few weeks.
So, why delay stepping on the path to being you again?
I would like to know your thoughts.
Is it possible that familiar feeling of pain is something associated to the memory of the loved one?
Is there fear that the loss of the pain will cause us to forget our lost loved one?
Is there a fear to enter the depth of the pain and stir up those really deep painful feelings and relive that terrible day?
Is the person's identity so entangled with the loss that they fear losing who they really are?
Please give me your thoughts.
Lance
In my limited time of working with grieving people, I tend to find those that desperately want to get better and those that don't. It makes me wonder why.
In my own grief struggle, I was searching for answers. I wanted to know why I felt so bad for so long. I was aggressively seeking a solution. When I found the Grief Recovery Institute, the program spoke to me. The book spoke to me. I felt deep within me that I had finally found an answer to lifting my soul up from the hurt. When I went through the course, I poured myself thoroughly into it with every ounce of energy. When completed with the loss of my son, I felt oddly different. It took a few hours to sink in. I noticed that I viewed other situations and difficulties that were adjacent to my loss much differently. I noticed a missing feeling in my chest. I searched for it, but I couldn't find it. It was a familiar feeling of pain, not terrible pain, just a consistent reminder of the loss I had experienced. Now, that was missing and I felt quite odd for a few weeks.
So, why delay stepping on the path to being you again?
I would like to know your thoughts.
Is it possible that familiar feeling of pain is something associated to the memory of the loved one?
Is there fear that the loss of the pain will cause us to forget our lost loved one?
Is there a fear to enter the depth of the pain and stir up those really deep painful feelings and relive that terrible day?
Is the person's identity so entangled with the loss that they fear losing who they really are?
Please give me your thoughts.
Lance
Monday, March 21, 2016
New Grief Recovery Group starts April 10th in Tomball
Do you want to join the next Grief Recovery Group?
We are planning to start a new group on April 10th at the Spring Creek Church of Christ at 14847 Brown Rd, Tomball, TX 77377 from 4 - 6PM.
We will meet each Sunday for two hours.
If you want to feel better, please go to http://lancedecker.com and send me your information.
I'm looking forward to meeting you!
Lance Decker
Certified Grief Recovery Specialist
We are planning to start a new group on April 10th at the Spring Creek Church of Christ at 14847 Brown Rd, Tomball, TX 77377 from 4 - 6PM.
We will meet each Sunday for two hours.
If you want to feel better, please go to http://lancedecker.com and send me your information.
I'm looking forward to meeting you!
Lance Decker
Certified Grief Recovery Specialist
Beginnings...
Grief Recovery
I have had the most amazing experience over the past few months and it has come because of my training and certification with the Grief Recovery Institute. If you are a reader of my blog, you know that my wife and I lost our 29 year old son over three and a half years ago. Since then, I have been trying to learn more about grief and how to help others. Really, I just wanted to feel better and help others to feel better.
After a lot of research and questions, I signed up and attended training to be able to deliver the Grief Recovery Method training and recovery groups. What an amazing course! What a great instructor (Laura Jack - see www.laurajack.com). And best of all, I really feel so much better. It is impossible to explain, but I will try. Since Lance Jr. died, I have had a tightness in my chest, a heaviness of heart, a drain of my being. After the class, frankly, I wondered where it went and I searched for that familiar feeling, but it was gone. I also had an ability to look at other instances around my son's death with new light and forgiveness.
I've made it known to a few of my friends and my local church that I have this training. This past weekend we held a balloon event I planned several months ago which helped to launch the training class at my church. As word spreads, I have more and more people coming to me with questions and interest in being in a grief recovery group.
I bought a domain and made a website (www.lancedecker.com) and have ordered some business cards. I'm trying to figure out how much time I can spend on this and keep my regular job. I've started teaching a dear friend of mine the material and, I plan to start a recovery group in April at the Spring Creek church of Christ in Tomball. (www.springcreekchurchofchrist.org).
I find grievers are very interested in getting better, they just don't know how. Conventional wisdom is to not do anything about grief and to live with the pain. Some develop bad habits or illnesses. Some turn to substances for relief. Like a broken leg requires a familiar, sometimes painful, series of steps, so does grief recovery.
I feel like Paul in 1 Corinthians 9:16 - "For if I preach the gospel, that gives me no ground for boasting. For necessity is laid upon me. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!" In my case, I want people to know that there is relief from the pain of grief, that recovery is possible, and that you can be yourself again. None of this means that we forget our loved one or that, at times, we are sad about what happened. It does mean the incomplete business of our losses can be completed and the pain associated with them can stop.
I am excited what the next few months and years hold for me and this work. I am finally free of the pain and look forward to helping others do the same.
Lance Decker
Certified Grief Recovery Specialist
I have had the most amazing experience over the past few months and it has come because of my training and certification with the Grief Recovery Institute. If you are a reader of my blog, you know that my wife and I lost our 29 year old son over three and a half years ago. Since then, I have been trying to learn more about grief and how to help others. Really, I just wanted to feel better and help others to feel better.
After a lot of research and questions, I signed up and attended training to be able to deliver the Grief Recovery Method training and recovery groups. What an amazing course! What a great instructor (Laura Jack - see www.laurajack.com). And best of all, I really feel so much better. It is impossible to explain, but I will try. Since Lance Jr. died, I have had a tightness in my chest, a heaviness of heart, a drain of my being. After the class, frankly, I wondered where it went and I searched for that familiar feeling, but it was gone. I also had an ability to look at other instances around my son's death with new light and forgiveness.
I've made it known to a few of my friends and my local church that I have this training. This past weekend we held a balloon event I planned several months ago which helped to launch the training class at my church. As word spreads, I have more and more people coming to me with questions and interest in being in a grief recovery group.
I bought a domain and made a website (www.lancedecker.com) and have ordered some business cards. I'm trying to figure out how much time I can spend on this and keep my regular job. I've started teaching a dear friend of mine the material and, I plan to start a recovery group in April at the Spring Creek church of Christ in Tomball. (www.springcreekchurchofchrist.org).
I feel like Paul in 1 Corinthians 9:16 - "For if I preach the gospel, that gives me no ground for boasting. For necessity is laid upon me. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!" In my case, I want people to know that there is relief from the pain of grief, that recovery is possible, and that you can be yourself again. None of this means that we forget our loved one or that, at times, we are sad about what happened. It does mean the incomplete business of our losses can be completed and the pain associated with them can stop.
I am excited what the next few months and years hold for me and this work. I am finally free of the pain and look forward to helping others do the same.
Lance Decker
Certified Grief Recovery Specialist
Friday, March 18, 2016
Grief in the Workplace
Grief in the Workplace
By Lance Decker, Certified Grief Recovery Specialist
Lately, I have noticed some interesting behaviors at my
workplace. Let me first set the stage
for you with the conditions surrounding this.
I live and work in the Houston, TX area and my company has been
adversely affected by the recent drop in oil prices. We realize most of our income through the
supply of steel products directly to drillers.
When the drilling slows or stops, so does our business. To illustrate this, when I started with this
company back in December of 2014, there were approximately 1920 drilling rigs
working in North America. Today there
are less than 500. As you can imagine
the business has suffered greatly.
Fortunately, the company has good cash reserves and does not seem to be
in any financial difficulty. That said, however, the company is smart about
manpower and costs during an “oil bust” time period and has started a series of
mill closures and reduced capacity to match the current demand. As this occurs, the company also is reducing
overhead employees, many with seniority.
So, you may ask, “Why would you be bothered? You still have
a job.” This is exactly the question in
my mind as I feel my morale, and that of the other employees left behind,
decline. First, inside even large
companies, there is a building of community.
It is natural for people to get to know others and invest feeling and
emotions in others within the workplace.
There’s a funny description of men and women within the workplace that
become close called an “office wife” or “office husband.” While quite odd, I have had this odd
relationship occur within my own work experience. Regardless, people build bonds within the
workplace. Unfortunately, in difficult
times, companies reassess the usefulness of every position and every person
filling them. People (real people, not numbers) are laid off and relationships
are lost or reduced by those leaving as well as those left behind. The familiarity of the workplace
changes. There’s an empty desk. Familiar patterns of coffee or water cooler
talk are disrupted. This is nearly the
text book definition of grief. “The
conflicting feelings cause by the end of (or change of) a familiar pattern of
behavior.” It is conflicting because,
well, I retained my job, but my friend lost his or hers.
I see symptoms of grief everywhere. People are distracted for days following a
layoff. There is a fear, a discomfort,
that perhaps this round of layoffs are not quite over. People gather in small groups and compare the
lists of who was let go. In addition
others take on the work of those no longer employed and try to figure out what
they were doing and what priorities were most important for that departed
person. There is a fear of what the
future holds and a bit of paralysis before work begins slowly to return to a
new normal.
In addition to the lost relationships of a layoff, as the
company continues to evaluate the future, there is an expectation of new
layoffs. Tensions grow and production
decreases. Having been distracted by the
stress of the situation, employees are more prone to accidents. The hopes and dreams of people are
jeopardized. The expectations of raises
and promotions are vanishing. The
security for which we all work is undermined.
In response, people who are still working are distracted, cannot sleep,
and have steeper highs and lows of activity.
I observe demoralization in some and scrambling in others. I see political rivals pressing for position
and recognition.
So, what can we do in the workplace to relieve this stress,
to recover from loss, and get back on task?
Perhaps the first step is to recognize that there is grief for those
still working. Managers have to allow
employees to move through grief by being a listening ear, by being human
beings, and by giving accurate information.
It is my experience that managers feel the same way during these
periods. If a manager can relate his own
feelings of loss and fear about the future, then the employee can see his or
her manager in a new light. Managers
naturally receive more detail about the business and future plans, so, when
appropriate, a manager can give hints of safety or the lack thereof so
employees can plan for the immediate future.
Understanding where we stand can help us find a level of understanding of
our individual situation and give new hope either within the current job or in
searching for a new one.
Grief does in fact expand in businesses that are
shrinking. It is vital to companies in
this position to recognize the symptoms and humanize the experience that all
too often is a numbers game. Employees
that remain need not only time and space to process the loss of friends and
security, but they need caring managers that open up with their own feelings
and listen to those of their employees left behind after a layoff.
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